INTO BATTLE
In December 1940, Evelyn Waugh and Randolph Churchill were on the Isle of Arran as part of 8 Commando, being trained for special missions. They were based at Lamlash where much of the British fleet was at anchor. Photography was against regulations but a photo exists (its coming up) of Evelyn Waugh, taken (shall we say) by Randolph Churchill.
Randolph: "What have you got in your shoulder-bag, Evelyn?"
Evelyn: "An advance copy of those speeches by your father that you've put together."
Randolph: "What do you think of it?"
Evelyn: "Not a patch on Mein Kampf."
Randolph: "Have you committed any of Winston's speeches to memory?"
Evelyn: "Nope."
Randolph: "Surely the odd line."
Evelyn: "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to one rich man smoking a cigar in the House of Commons.".
Randolph: "I know big chunks off by heart."
Evelyn: "I know you do."
Randolph: "We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, What is our policy? I will say: it is to wage war, by land, sea and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, What is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival for the British Empire; no survival for all that the British Empire has stood for, no survival for the urge and impulse of the ages, that mankind will move forward towards its goal."
Evelyn: "I must thank you and your father for reminding me why I am standing here, in the mud, on this remote Scottish island, as opposed to sitting in my library at Piers Court in leafy Gloucestershire, surrounded by my books, my wife and my children."
Randolph: "I didn't think you allowed Laura or the kids into your library."
Evelyn: "I don't encourage their presence, but there is no outright ban."
Evelyn: "Want to know the worst thing about your father's book?"
Randolph: "Tell me."
Evelyn: "The frontispiece is a photograph of Winston sitting at his desk taken by Cecil Beaton."
Randolph: "The pansy photographer?"
Evelyn: "Exactly. So when your father warns of the destruction of all that the British Empire has stood for, does he mean homosexuality? Does he mean to suggest that mankind's goal is total queerness? Is that what we joined the commandos for?"
Randolph: "We shall fight Cecil Beaton in France, we shall fight him on the seas and oceans, we shall fight him with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our machismo, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight Cecil on the beaches, we shall fight him on the landing grounds, we shall fight him in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight him in the hills. We shall never surrender."
Evelyn: "Are you still taking photos?"
Randolph: "I need several copies. One will go to Spike Milligan, a bombardier in some working class regiment."
Evelyn: "Why?"
Randolph: "He'll need it after the war in order to take the piss out of us in his book: Monty, My Part in His Victory."
Evelyn: "Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone was an officer and there was no need for ordinary troops?"
Randolph: "Captain Waugh versus Bombardier Milligan, it should be quite a match-up - I can't wait. Hang on a minute, that's him standing beside you!"
Spike: "Do you know a chunk of Arran is under my foot?"
Evelyn: "You hum it son, I'll play it."
Randolph: "We shall fight Spike Milligan in France, we shall fight him on the seas and oceans, we shall fight him with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our privilege, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight Spike on the beaches, we shall fight him on the landing grounds, we shall fight him in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight him in the hills. We shall never surrender."
Spike: "In the shit as usual. Right up to my oxters."